TACT

"He who is not well-bred, cannot tolerate ill-breeding." Or something like that. I read this on one of those wall-posts in a chiropractor's office many years ago. I meant to have one printed up for me, but I never got around to it.
During the holidays, I heard several tales by different people berating others for not having social grace, or of behaving stupidly. I never did know how to offset these kind of comments. Maybe I should have that saying (although I'm not sure that it is verbatim) printed on little cards that I could hand out in such a situation, but wouldn't that infer that I too was ill-bred.
Actually, it goes beyond tact. Tact is not an innate characteristic. It has to be acquired. Maybe the word should be empathy. Having enough compassion and understanding to allow someone to behave in a manner that we find unsuitable.
My favorite story involving empathy goes like this: At a formal dinner in Hollywood, Ethel Merman was seated opposite Tony Curtis, a newcomer to the town. I may not have this exactly right, but according to my recollection, Tony Curtis clumsily broke a glass or spilled his wine and was horrifickly embarassed by his action. Whereupon, Ethel Merman proceeded to perform the very same action. She not only took the focus away from Mr. Curtis, but perhaps there were some astute people at that gathering who might have learned a valuable lesson from this faux-pas.
We are none of us unblemished by foolish remarks or moments of bad behavior in our own daily dealings. It's incumbent upon us to appreciate the person and overlook the behavior.